Tamara I want to share an abbreviated testimony for what it is worth. Probably, people who are still out there involved in the "new age" movement will not be poking around these kinds of sites, but then again, you never can tell what the Lord will do!
I was raised a Christian in a mainstream Protestant denomination. I will not mention it, because I do not want to cast any aspersions on that denomination, but I never really found a life-changing relationship with Jesus Christ in that church -- so maybe it was just me. But the Lord had a great and tortuous and rewarding journey planned for me.
I was saved, in heart and spirit, one night alone in my bedroom, when I was about 15. But it was like the seed cast upon rocky soil-- without nurturing, I immediately fell away. I went into drug experimentation, bad lifestyle, abuse of alcohol, and eventually at age 30, entered AA under the influence-- divine influence, I believe!God used that program as a last call for me to either get straight, or get taken home. By the grace of God, I am sober today, twelve years later, but through the program I got introduced to the New Age movement in a tremendous way-- sort of Satan's last big fling at my soul. Psychobabble, mumbo-jumbo, Science of Mind, Emmett Fox, Christian Science, energized crystals, spirit writing, channeling spirits (i.e., demons), opening chakras, attending Buddhist services, Bahai Faith— there was not much I did not try in my search for the "Truth".
The last big belief system in which I became ensnared was A Course in Miracles, which could aptly be renamed, Lost Souls 101. I studied it intensely for four years. All the while, God was drawing me closer and closer to Jesus. See, deep down, I thought I was not good enough for Jesus, that I had done too many bad things for Him to ever love me -- how could He?
That is exactly where Satan wanted to keep me, uninformed, and in doubt. But things started happening in my life -- God led me to my husband in 1987-- we felt we had been put together by God, but we were both out of fellowship.
One night, once again, in my bed, as I was reading the "Course." I felt I was getting the very strong message from my reading that I should kill myself in order to be one with the "Jesus." Something inside me cried out against that self-destructive message -- I know now it was the Holy Spirit fighting for my life. That night, I suddenly realized I ought to go in search of the belief of my parents, back to my Christian roots. Maybe there was something to it! Maybe I had just not quite gotten it right...
I began to pray for God to lead me-- and lead me he did, right to a word-teaching, fundamental, bible-believing church, which I promptly embraced. I began actually READING my bible, almost every day -- I won't claim I did it right all the time. But God used the Word to draw me, and, after reading Romans, I became convicted to rededicate my life to Jesus, to Whom it had really belonged all along. And I went to our pastor, and asked to be baptized to show what the Lord was doing in my life.
Praise the Lord -- that was nearly five years ago, and He has not stopped working in my life since. I even had the chance to teach English in a Christian school-- me, a worthless sinner, whom the Lord loves anyway! He continues to bless and reward us, and we have seen our five sons come to the Lord in faith, and are watching them attempt to continue in His ways -- some times are more rocky than others, but we have the gift of His faith that He is faithful to finish when He has begun a work in someone's life, and we are secure in the knowledge that He is always in control.
And I thank Him it is not me, because just look what I was able to accomplish without Him! All glory be to God!
Sincerely, Tamara RobersonEmail Tamara