You Know You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When...

Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.

You'd be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.

You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.

You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.

You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar".

You get drunk just so you can sober up.

You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.

Your Thermos is on wheels.