Strange Sayings

*Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

* 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

* Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

* ...every morning is the dawn of a new error...

* For people who like peace and quiet - a phoneless cord.

* The beatings will continue until morale improves.

* I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

* Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.

* Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

* Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

* There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.

* I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

* Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

* A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.

* Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.

* If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!

* Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.

* If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

* If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

* If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.

* Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.

* It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

* Look out for #1. Don't step in #2 either.

* Budget: A method for going broke methodically.

* Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.

* Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

* Copywight 1998 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.

* Department of Redundancy Department.

* Headline: Bear takes over Disneyland in Pooh D'Etat!

* What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.

* I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.

* Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie!" till you can find a rock.