What the Doctor Really Means When He Says...

"This should be taken care of right away."

I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself.

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"Welllllll, what have we here..."

Since he hasn't the foggiest notion of what it is, the Doctor is hoping you will give him a clue.

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"We'll see."

First I have to check my malpractice insurance.

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"Let me check your medical history."

I want to see if you've paid your last bill before spending any more time with you.

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"Why don't we make another appointment later in the week."

I need the money, so I'm charging you for another office visit.

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"We have some good news and some bad news."

The good news is he's going to buy that new BMW, and the bad news is you're going to pay for it.

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"If it doesn't clear up in a week, give me a call."

I don't know what the it is. Maybe it will go away by itself.

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"Everything seems to be normal."

I guess I can't buy that new beach condo after all.

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"I'd like to run some more tests."

I can't figure out what's wrong. Maybe the kid in the lab can solve this one

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