Three Short Jokes

Family Matters:

Money isn't everything, But it sure keeps the kids in touch.

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Good News Bad News:

There is the story of a preacher who got up one Sunday and announced to his congregation: "I have good news and bad news. The good news is, we have enough money to pay for our new building program. The bad news is, it's still out there in your pockets."

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Ole's Obituary:

Ole died. So Lena went to the local paper to put a notice in the obituaries. The gentleman at the counter, after offering his condolences, asked Lena what she would like to say about Ole. Lena replied, "You just put, 'Ole died.'"

The gentleman, somewhat perplexed, said, "That's it? Just 'Ole died?' Surely, there must be something more you'd like to say about Ole. If it's money you're concerned about, the first five words are free. We really should say something more."

So Lena pondered for a few minutes and finally said, "O.K., then. You put 'Ole died. Boat for sale.'"