You might be a redneck if ...
You might be a redneck if ... Instead of locking the doors of your house, you keep a shotgun within reach, "just in case".
You consider pickled deer organs a delicacy.
Charlie Daniels is your commencement speaker. After the divorce you still call your Ex "Cuz".
You're 42 and still have clowns come to your birthday party.
You think 'possum is the "other white meat".
Your husband spray paints the upholstery of your car to make it look new.
Your old car is now considered the main storage unit.
Your soap on a rope doubles as an air freshener.
Your wife's hairdo attracts bees.
You celebrate Groundhog Day because you believe in it.
Your kid takes a siphon hose to show-and-tell.
You've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.
You dated your daddy's current wife in high school.
You're moved to tears every time you hear Dolly Parton singing "I Will Always Love You".