This is an update of an article originally published in
March 2004. While it’s based on the Bible, it also includes Jewish
wedding traditions from Biblical times. Some of these traditions go
all the way back to Abraham’s time and are described in Genesis 24.
Birth of a Tradition
Abraham was getting old and Sarah had died, so he sent his
chief servant to the land of his brother to get a wife for Isaac. The
servant loaded up 10 camels with gifts and set off. After some time he
arrived in the village of Abraham’s brother Nahor. Approaching a young woman
near a well, he asked for a drink, in accordance with a plan he had devised
with the Lord. When she offered to draw water for his camels as well,
he recognized the confirming sign he had asked for and accompanied her to
her home.
That evening he asked her family for permission to take
the young woman, whose name was Rebekah, back home to be the bride of his
master’s son Isaac. Using the gifts to reward her and compensate the family
for the loss of their daughter, he said he wanted to leave immediately. When
Rebekah’s father turned to her for final approval, she agreed and they set
off the next morning. After several days travel during which the servant
told her all about her betrothed, they arrived at Isaac’s home where she met
him for the first time. That very evening Isaac and Rebekah were
married.
That’s The Way It Goes
Members of royalty often followed a procedure very similar
to this in obtaining brides for their sons, sometimes arranging them years
in advance of the actual event. Common people also adopted this method, but
of course with them the prospective groom acted on his own behalf rather
than sending someone in his stead.
Even today in some Middle Eastern cultures arranged
marriages are common, with the groom’s mother selecting a bride for her son.
The logic here is that a young man’s mother knows her son and his
temperament better than anyone and can most accurately predict what kind of
woman would please him. On one of our trips to Israel and Jordan, our
Jordanian guide told us that his marriage had been arranged in this way and
he was very happy with his mother’s selection.
Back To Biblical Times
In those days when a man took a liking to a young woman,
he approached her father to ask for her hand in marriage. Due to the
prevailing economic conditions back then, it took a long time for a
man to become financially stable enough to think about starting a family.
When he did, he looked for a bride young enough to bear him many children.
So while the man in these cases could be in his thirties, the potential
bride would often still be a teenager and would need her father’s permission
to marry.
Inviting the man into their home, the young woman’s
parents sat down with him around a table while she brought wine and four
cups. After she had poured each of them (but not herself) a cup of wine, she
listened while this man, who she was meeting for the very first time,
described his assets, skills and other qualities that made him a desirable
mate. A brief negotiation followed where the price he would have to pay as
compensation for the family’s loss of their daughter was determined. It was
called the bride price.
If the two men reached an agreeable amount all eyes turned
to the daughter who had been listening intently to the entire discussion.
She now had to decide if she would take this man to be her husband. If she
turned her empty cup upside down, the man went away never to return. But if
she filled her cup and took a sip of the wine, she was agreeing to become
his wife.
At that point they signed a betrothal agreement, wherein
the man promised on oath to return for the young woman when all the wedding
preparations were complete. Now they were officially engaged and the
relationship could only be terminated by a divorce. He went away to
build a home for them on family property next to his father’s house. This
could take some time, and the couple rarely met again until the father of
the groom pronounced the newly built home fit for habitation. Only
then was the wedding date set, and the man given permission by his father to
go collect his bride for the wedding.
During this time the young woman was to watch and wait at
her parents’ home. She and her bridesmaids had to maintain a constant state
of preparedness, since the wedding date would not be revealed to her until
the bridegroom actually appeared at her door to take her to their new home.
Surprise, Surprise
For his part, the groom would try to show up unexpectedly
to surprise her, carrying her off suddenly “like a thief in the night” when
no one would see them. The only advance warning she would get was the sound
of his voice shouting her name and the blast of a ram’s horn.
When the bridesmaids discovered that the bride had been
“spirited away” they would organize a great torch-lit procession, going
throughout the whole town announcing that the wedding banquet was soon to
begin. The banquet typically capped off a seven-day celebration during which
the bride and groom were hidden away in their private rooms while the whole
town made merry. Then they reappeared at the banquet to receive the
congratulations of their friends and family, and their married life
officially began. The father of the groom picked up the tab for all
the festivities.
Maybe you’re beginning to see the similarities. The Lord
Jesus, being royalty, does not come directly seeking His bride. His Father
sends an unnamed servant on His behalf, just like Abraham did. This servant
of course is the Holy Spirit, our Comforter, Who beckons us.
Interestingly, the name of Abraham’s servant was Eliezer, which translates
“God is my Comforter.” And even more so, in Genesis 24
Eliezer’s name is never mentioned, as if he’s serving as a model of the Holy
Spirit, Whose name is also withheld from us.
The role of the Holy Spirit is to extol the virtues of the
Son of God, Who when told that the Bride price was nothing less than His own
shed blood, agreed to die for us, and for the joy set before Him endured the
cross. (Hebr. 12:2). His last word from the cross,
recorded in John 19:30, was tetelesti, a Greek word that’s
been translated “It is finished.” In the Lord’s time it was a legal
term that literally meant, “Paid in full”, It was written across paid
invoices and prison documents upon release of prisoners who had served their
full terms, and had therefore paid their debt to society. With His death
Jesus paid the price in full for His bride.
Who Loves You?
At the Last Supper Jesus had hoisted His cup and said,
“This cup is the new covenant in my blood; do this, whenever you drink
it, in remembrance of me.” (1 Cor. 11:25). When
we first “take the cup” we’re signifying that we’re officially betrothed,
and we’re rewarded with gifts from the Holy Spirit, Who is sealed within us
as a guarantee of our inheritance (Ephe. 1:13-14). We then
begin our journey, the balance of our life on Earth, while the Holy Spirit
continues to teach us about our betrothed and helps us develop
behavioral standards that are pleasing to Him.
As He does, we learn to our utter amazement that we have
always been our Lord’s consuming desire,
That He lived so that we might come into existence and be
set apart,
That He has longed for us to know how much He loves us,
That His every word and action were designed to bring us
honor and express His devotion to us,
That He has dedicated Himself to us and covered all of our
imperfections with His love, and
That He gave His life for us.
For His part the Lord is even now building a house for us.
“You trust in God; trust also in me,“ He said. In My
Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, I would have told you. I
am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place
for you, I will come back and take you to be with me so that you also may be
where I am.” (John 14:1-3) He has sworn on oath to
return for us when the wedding preparations are complete and take us to His
Father’s house, to the place He’s been preparing for us.
Soon And Very Soon
One day when we least expect it, He’ll come like a thief
in the night and spirit us away to our new home. For the Lord
Himself will come down from Heaven with a loud command, with the voice of
the archangel, and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will
rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught
up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so will
we be with the Lord forever. (1 Thes. 4:16-17).
In Heaven the King and His Bride will be hidden away
in our rooms, while on Earth the last seven years of human history unfold. (Isa.
26:19-20) At the end, following the Marriage Supper of the Lamb (Rev.
19:7-9), we’ll return to Earth together to rule and reign for 1000
years, and then it’s off to our eternal life with Him. Praise the
Lord. Selah 08-22-09
